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Suffering and Truth

Lamentations 3:22-33; 55-57
January 16, 2005

It was seven years ago that my sister-in law, Ginger, was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. Her form of cancer was extremely aggressive. There was pervasive lymph node involvement. Her prognosis was not good. Her oncologist cautiously recommended a stem cell transplant knowing there was a chance she might not even qualify for this high-risk therapy. As some of you know this treatment can literally kill you.

Ginger was no stranger to suffering. She had watched first her dad, then her mother and her sister all die from cancer. She knew the horror of the disease. But Ginger had a husband and two children and she was resolved to do whatever it took to cling to life as long as she possibly could.

Ginger turned out to be an excellent candidate for the stem cell transplant and she checked into the City of Hope in Southern California to begin her treatment. Her life hung by a thread for a number of days.

We waited and prayed and did what we could to support Ginger, my brother, Jim, and their children, Candice and Erik. To make a long story short, Ginger made it through the ordeal and finally went home. It was a lengthy and difficult road to recovery. But here we are seven years later and Ginger is cancer free. Just this past week I received an e-mail from Ginger. She wrote how she and Jim and were reminiscing about what was going on in their lives six years ago. How they were dealing with so much uncertainty, emotional turmoil, financial stress, paralyzing fear, concern for the kids, and on and on. They were totally shaken to the core and had pretty much hit rock bottom.

She says,

"I am so appreciative of the perspective that I have gained through some of the valleys I've gone through. I don't regret it at all. In fact, in many ways cancer has been a real gift and blessing in my life. My only regret is that there isn't an easier and less painful way to learn some of what I've learned. I am profoundly humbled and grateful to be standing where I am now. It is nothing short of completely miraculous to me."

Her attitude and perspective sounds like a God thing to me.

Bob and I and the girls went to visit our family this past Thanksgiving and we stayed with Jim and Ginger. Ginger shared with me about her spiritual journey over these past few years. She told me some remarkable stories of how she has been able to come alongside folks who are walking this lonely and scary cancer road.

While we were there I noticed this gorgeous tree called Liquid Amber in their front yard. The leaves were a beautiful shade of burnt orange and gold. Apparently, the day Ginger was diagnosed with cancer, they had a horrific hail and windstorm and the entire top of this tree just snapped off and broke and they found it lying across the walkway to their house when they returned home from the doctor's office.

They loved that tree and because of the particular day it fell over, Jim didn't have the heart to remove it completely-so he went ahead and had it cut way back to just a stump. Quite amazingly, it grew very slowly into the robust tree that I saw last November. They consider this tree to be a living memorial to Ginger's story. Isn't that a beautiful picture of what God can do with the brokenness in our lives?

If you were with us last week, you will remember we reflected on Beauty and Truth. Common life experience tells us that something deep within us is stirred when we encounter beauty. I shared how there are times when, with the assistance of beauty, whether it is through nature, or music, or another human being, God reveals profound truth to us.

Just as all of us have experienced this kind of beauty in our lives, so also, if we have been on the planet awhile, have known our share of affliction. Today I would like to very briefly reflect on Suffering and Truth.

I have just finished re-reading Richard Rohr's book on "Job and the Mystery of Suffering." Rohr has some great insights into Job's journey through suffering. A worthwhile read, if you haven't read it. Rohr says,

"Pain and beauty-constitute the two faces of God."

This is a mystery to me-but I believe it is true.

In the same way that beauty is capable of drawing us to God, likewise, I believe our pain can move us into a deeper place with God.

I saw how this happened in Ginger's difficult circumstances and I've seen this in my own times of struggle.

I would like to share a few truths I've come to regarding suffering in the course of my spiritual journey.

First truth…I am transformed when I am able to surrender to God my need to understand why things are as they are.

This is the truth Job finally comes to…His friends try to explain and blame and reason through Job's suffering. Job certainly struggles and has his share of honest questions, but Job finally concludes that he really doesn't need to know why, he only wants to know that he is not alone, that God is walking with him through his suffering.

I love what the Psalmist says, "If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there." Are we willing to surrender our need to explain our suffering and simply trust in the reality of God's presence with us?

In the book of Job, God is characterized as living in the heart of the whirlwind, an amazing image-"Out of the whirlwind truth comes."

Second truth…Suffering can be one of the best ways to grow in self-awareness. You can learn a lot about yourself in times of suffering. I know I have. It can nudge us towards important inner work. This type of soul work is not for the faint of heart. It is usually involves pain, but a pain that can lead to freedom and inner healing.

In Ginger's case a lot of her learning and self-reflection has come as she looks back and sees what she went through, helping her to live her life more fully today. Sometimes, when we are in the middle of our suffering it all seems so confusing and clarity might come for us months or years later.

It was about four years ago when I realized how much suffering my perfectionism was causing me and those closest to me. I call myself a perfectionist in recovery.

The catalyst for some incredible self-discovery and growth came through my introduction to the Enneagram. (Here's my plug for the workshop next Saturday.) It was four years ago in the midst of that dark hole I was in that Nancy Thurston gave me a tape to listen to on the Enneagram. It was totally new concept to me. In fact, I have to tell you that I was very resistant to it at first. I think it was because I was very close to the truth and about to learn some very important things about myself.

It has been through my ongoing work with the Enneagram that I've come to accept who I am and what I bring to the others…realizing the world needs healthy self-aware perfectionists who recognize their greatest strength can also be their greatest weakness.

Before we close this morning, just one more truth about suffering…There are certainly more… Call me an optimist, but there seems to always be the potential for good to come from any life situation, no matter how bad.

I think it is fascinating the way that suffering seems to bring out the best in people. I look at the redemptive quality of Ginger's suffering in the way she is now helping others walk the path she suffered through. We often find that the immense tragedies of war and natural disasters seem to call forth compassion and love and empathy in so many people.

While I still can't get my mind around how many lives were lost in the recent tsunami, stop and think for a moment, at the way the world has rallied around the survivors. It's remarkable! We celebrate Martin Luther King, JR's birthday this weekend. Look at the enormous impact he had during the struggle of the civil rights movement. His message of love and non-violence still inspire us today not to give up hope-that our lives can and do make a difference. Suffering can bring people together in marvelous ways to be agents of change.

As we pause for a time of reflection, ask yourself, what are the truths you have come to in times of suffering? What has been your experience of God during the difficult times of your life? Maybe, you are even in the midst of one of those now. What are you learning about yourself and about your relationship with God? What might the analogy of Ginger's tree mean for you? Please feel free to share your thoughts with us out of the silence.