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Holy Silence
1 Kings 19
June 12, 2005

It was about fifteen years ago that Bob and I began attending Reedwood Friends Church in Portland, Oregon. It was there that I was first introduced to Quaker silence, something that was fairly foreign to my religious experience up to that point. It has been through my sojourning with Friends that I have discovered the value and benefit of holy silence.

The tradition I grew up in filled every part of Sunday worship with words and sound. Even during a time of prayer, the organ would be playing softly in the background. And usually a moment of silence was more accurately about 30 seconds of awkward silence.

Recently at a conference with other Friends pastors in the NW, I was amused to hear one of them say, "I wonder what would happen if instead of scheduling a speaker we just all sat together in silence for an hour every evening of this conference? I wonder if God would say anything to us?" (If you haven't already noticed, it's not always easy for pastors to be quiet, not even Quaker pastors.)

In my own experience I know that as I have learned to welcome silence into my life I have been changed. Whether it is during our meeting for worship or when I am alone during the week, silence has helped me to become more aware of the gentle voice of God speaking truth into my life.

Sometimes the gentle voice of God simply says, "Faith, I love you, just the way you are…or, Faith, you need to ask for forgiveness for the way you spoke to your daughter yesterday …or, Faith, give 'so and so' a call today."

For centuries, Quakers have emphasized expectant waiting in silence. That when we are silent, God brings insights, guidance, and spiritual discernment that can sometimes be hard to hear in our noisy, everyday lives.

Over the next few weeks we are going to be talking about holy silence and the ways our souls are nurtured through silence. I firmly believe our souls hunger for silence, in a culture where noise, chaos and over-stimulation can drown out the still small voice of God.

It was encouraging at our discernment retreat last weekend to hear that a number of you were drawn to the Friends Church because of this very thing… our emphasis on listening to God in the silence. Our German international student, Miriam, shared during first words last week that the silence is one of the things she really liked about being here on Sundays.
But I am also aware that not everyone feels completely at ease with silence. Entering into the quiet during our worship may be mildly to extremely uncomfortable for some of you.

Children are great at identifying this tension in our meeting for worship. "Why isn't anyone talking? Why is it so quiet in here?" Maybe you felt this way when you first came here or maybe still do.

Over the next few weeks we are going to be reflecting on what it means to be still, to cease striving, and know that God is there for us, as Quakers say, ready to speak to our condition.

This morning we are going to look at an Old Testament story found in the book of 1 Kings about the prophet, Elijah. My guess is that Elijah was one of the very first Quakers. Elijah experienced God, believe it or not, in the silence.

First, let me give you some context for the story…..Ahab is king of Israel. He is one in a long string of evil rulers who have turned away from God. It says in 1 Kings, chapter 16 that Ahab "did more open evil before God than anyone yet-a new champion in evil!" Ahab marries Jezebel. Not a good choice for a life partner and queen…Today the very name Jezebel makes you think of the dark side. Not up there with the list of favorite names to give your daughter- "This is our new baby, Jezebel." Jezebel promptly disciples her husband in the art of idol worship. They partner in building a special temple and an altar for the pagan god Baal. They get involved in some pretty bizarre things together.

Elijah comes in on the scene in chapter 17. Elijah is grieved by the way his people have turned away from the God he knows and loves. Elijah, like most prophets seems to speak from knowledge of God-rather than knowledge about God. His convictions flow from his own experiential knowing of God. It seems that prophets are always in trouble, too, on the run from the bad guys. But their source of courage always comes from this sense of knowing God. Elijah was no exception.

To make a long story short…All kinds of exciting things take place in chapters 17 and 18. It is all fairly spectacular and dramatic. Elijah becomes a hero of the faith. He is able to bring about miracles through prayer. He raises the dead and calls fire down from heaven. He confronts an evil and powerful king and dares to accuse a large crowd of Baal worshippers. And for all you runners out there, he even outruns Ahab's chariot in a seventeen-mile chase. Just reading through this story, you know that this all had to be one major spiritual high for Elijah.

We pick up in 1 Kings, chapter 19;1-10) It doesn't take much to see that Elijah is really depressed. Elijah is exhibiting all the classic signs of burnout. He is suicidal, self-doubting and even a bit self-righteous. "Look how hard I have been working for God and look at where it has gotten me? No more Mr. Holy Guy. I'm exhausted. I'm done!" Elijah is worn out. All he wants to do is sleep. He needs to be told to eat. His view of reality has become distorted. He's quick to blame others for his situation. He feels pretty much alone in the world.

One might expect a diving rebuke right about now. "Come on Elijah! Get a grip! Snap out of it." But there is no shaming. He is never rebuked for feeling weak and discouraged. Rather Elijah is accepted as he is, exactly where he is and God gently and lovingly ministers to him in his need…

Reading on…vs. 11…through 14. So God speaks to Elijah not in the hurricane, not in the wind, not in the earthquake, not in the fire, but in the sheer silence.

It is in the silence that Elijah hears the gentle voice of God calling him back to his life's work. God didn't cast him aside simply because he was burned out or depressed. What Elijah heard in the silence gave him hope and strength to go on living. God gives him what he needs to continue on his faith journey.

So how about you? Are you feeling tired this morning? Are you burned out? Do you feel discouraged? I'm not talking about clinical depression that needs to be managed through medication. I would never want to over-simplify clinical depression and the need for you to be in your doctor's care. I am referring to the times in our lives when we feel that nothing seems to work out the way we planned. When we feel tired of trying so hard to do the right thing and get nothing but grief for it. The times when God sort of seems to be an abstract concept and not a whole lot of help.

Do you think it is possible that God might want to speak to you today in the silence the exact words of hope and strength and comfort you need to continue on your journey? "That's what the prophet Elijah discovered in the still, small voice. Hearing God in the whisper renewed him…"

For me, there have been times when it seems these periods of emotional discomfort and maybe even chaos linger for days or even weeks on end. But as Richard Rohr says, "If one is not prepared to live in that temporary chaos, (whatever that might be for us), to hold the necessary anxiety that chaos entails, one never moves to deeper levels of faith or prayer or relationship with God."

This sounds an awful lot like what might have happened to Elijah.

Holy silence encourages me to relax into the love of God. This is an intimate place where I feel safe to ask God questions like…"How do I live in the tension of my unanswered theological questions? How can I be a good mother to my daughters when I feel like I really don't know what I am doing? How do I shepherd a diverse, growing faith community? Why is it so hard for me to let go and surrender myself to You?"

Like Elijah we all have our issues… and things we might want to say to God. If you'll remember Elijah repeated his little monologue twice to God. Don't be afraid to say what is on your mind. And don't be afraid to hear what God might say to you in the silence. I believe that God is perfect and complete love. And perfect love dispels fear.

In closing, in these next few moments, let's consider the possibility that God will be here in the silence. Try to listen for a gentle, quiet whisper speaking to whatever your condition might be this morning.
If you feel led to speak out of the silence, please feel free to do so. Then I will close our time of open worship with a prayer.

Lord, thank you for the gift of silence.
Reassure us that we are not alone.
Strengthen our spirits when we feel weary of doing good.
Comfort our hearts when we feel disappointed or discouraged.
Help us to trust that your gentle voice will call us back to what we are meant to be and do.
Renew our courage to continue on our journey.
In Your Loving Name, we pray…Amen.