We are Christ-centered Friends who equip and encourage all people
to respond to God's love and transforming Spirit.

Waiting for way to open
September 20, 2009

Some of you might be familiar with some old Quaker sayings, like. "Turn in thy mind to the light and wait upon God." "There is that near you which will guide you; Oh wait for it, and be sure ye keep it." And one of my favorites, "When it is right, way will open."

Parker Palmer tells a story in his book, "Let your Life Speak" of a time during mid-life when he was trying to discern a new vocational direction. In his frustration over his lack of clarity he laments, "The only way that's opened so far is the wrong way."

Have you ever felt that way?

Parker finally approaches an older Quaker woman, known for her careful and sound wisdom. He asks her, "Ruth, people keep telling me that 'way will open.' Well, I sit in silence, I pray, I listen for my calling, but way is not opening. Way may open for others, but it's sure not happening for me."

Ruth's responds to him by saying, "Parker, I am a birthright Friend and in sixty plus years of living, way has never opened in front of me." She paused, allowing a bit of panic to grip Parker, then she says with cheerful confidence, "But a lot of way has closed behind me, and that's had the same guiding effect."

Are there decisions in your life that are weighing heavy on you this morning? Are you at a crossroad and don't know which way to turn? You know, it is okay not to know at this moment. Are you willing to wait, continue to pray, and trust that way will open or close in just the way that it needs to? Are you willing to consider that even the closed doors behind you might be offering direction for you?

If you have been around Friends for a while you will know that we are not people driven by swift decisions. I know that this on occasion has frustrated Friends, past and present. Since we do not make decisions by debating or voting, or even by consensus, but waiting for a unity in the Spirit within the gathered meeting for worship and business, the process can at times seem excruciatingly slow.

"There is a story of a man who had been conducting a study of the longevity of different religious denominations. He was telling his friend about visiting a Quaker cemetery recently and being appalled at finding, by the birth and death dates on the small headstones, that these Quakers seemed to live longer than those of any other denomination he had come upon. His friend replied that this would not be surprising to him if he knew anything about Quakers, for it always took them longer than anyone else to make their minds up about anything."

When have we erred on the waiting side too long and not moved forward to action in faith when we were being led to do so? What are some of the signposts to watch for that would indicate that way is opening? Or that way is closing? This is not always easy to discern, in our individual leadings or in our leadings together as a meeting.
I know some people who feel paralyzed when trying to make a decision, fearing what they might lose by merely making a choice. Then there are those who are inclined toward impulsivity, the jump now, plan later approach to decision making. Both extremes can be equally problematic.

How do you and I go about sifting through what our lives and circumstances are telling us and move toward a sound decision? It isn't always easy to decipher between what is God led or ego led. Sometimes it might not be the voice of God, at all, but the voice of a parent, a teacher, or a mentor we've had, (not that God can't speak through these people) but how do we learn to discern where our leadings and nudges come from?

I really appreciate what Colin Saxton said during his message to us at an evening gathering of NW Yearly Meeting of Friends in Newberg last July. The essence of his message to us was that our focus as Friends should not be about creating bigger and better churches, but about a greater willingness as individuals to go deeper in our relationship with God.

Are you and I willing to commit ourselves to growing deeper in our own personal spiritual practice during the week, setting aside time for prayerful listening and reflection? If we do not make a practice of waiting on God, how can we expect to show up here and come to unity in a decision that is before us?

For all the seminars, books, trainings, bible studies, or 10 best ways to be a successful spiritual person that call for our attention, where does sitting quietly and listening and communing with the Living Christ Within fit into our busy lives?

Many of us push away what feel like negative emotions, especially ones like fear, disappointment, or anger. These feelings are neither good nor bad, but can become our teachers giving us important information. Are we willing to work through them in the presence of Divine Love, this One in whom we live and move and have our being?

When we become anxious, defensive, and reactive with those around us, are we willing to spend some time waiting on God in silence? Friends, let's face it, we all carry wounds that can confuse and cloud our discernment.

Do we push the pause button before rising to speak a concern or leading here in meeting, or out during the week in our dealings with people asking ourselves, "Now is this really from God, or is this my ego talking?" (Larger Self, smaller self) Even if we are feeling really passionate about an issue, have we allowed ourselves sufficient time to sift through the issue alone and to also be willing to prayerfully test our leadings in the presence of others, holding all outcomes lightly?

Often if a leading is from God, over time, it will "gain depth and definition or it will alter or fade all together."

One of the expressions of God's love for us is this amazing freedom we have been given to choose. God doesn't force God's Self on us. Throughout our lifetime we will make many choices, some that are conscious, some that are not entirely so. Some of these decisions impact us alone; some will dramatically change the life of another. But ultimately, we only have the power to choose for ourselves the path we will take. Are we making these choices in a conscious posture of waiting and listening for God's Voice and guidance? And when we lack clarity, do we ask a trusted companion on the journey to listen with us?

Friends have a wonderful discernment practice that is called a clearness committee. It is a small gathering where people do just that; they listen and wait with you. Is this something that might be helpful to you in a decision you are facing? (If you want to learn more, feel free to ask me about it)

Friends have long valued the practice of waiting in silence, listening for our Inward Guide to lead us into right action. Are we willing to trust this process? To wait when it is necessary, and to move forward in faith when way has opened?

A while back, Cindy Prince told me about a secret rock sanctuary up on the ridge between Moore Park and the Link River trail. On one of my runs on the Link River, I hiked up to the top in search of it. There was a crossroad, two trails leading in opposite directions to who knows where? I tried both of them for a distance but didn't find the rock sanctuary; in fact, a snake on one path sent me running back down toward the Link River.

A week later I was in Moore Park on a leisurely walk having completely forgotten about it when I came across a clearly marked trail that led me straight up to that rock sanctuary. The path appeared, quite by surprise, when I wasn't even looking, and I found myself up on this beautiful bluff overlooking Klamath Lake. I built an altar of rocks and thanked God for the many times way had opened and I had been led exactly where I need to go.

As we enter into silent communion in the manner of Friends, what is stirring within you this morning? What decision needs to be made? What issue do you need to sit with? What is whispering, or even screaming for your attention in this moment? Spend some time right now waiting on God.

May we be open to receive the wisdom we need to hear in the silence. Amen.