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Forgiveness - Matt 18: 21
Meditation by Karen Little, October 23, 2011
In Reference to September 11

We are in the midst of a series on the fruit of the Spirit. While forgiveness is not included in the list that Paul wrote to the Galitians I have found that forgiveness is essential for us to be able to bear fruit of any description. I have been trying to understand why that is. The conclusion I have come to is that forgiveness changes us. It is like forgiveness changes the pH of our soul soil. (Try saying that word combination several times.) Forgiveness allows our spiritual gardens to flourish.

Forgiveness is a part of each of our lives. There is no one who has not been hurt by another or by circumstances or by our own ineptness. So we are faced with the need to forgive. There is no one who has been allowed to get through life without having to practice this hard choice. Forgiveness is a choice, it is a decision. Forgiveness is a verb which denotes action. It is not once for all but each of us must decide to forgive over and over and over and over…You get my drift because forgiving often takes more than one time.

I find it interesting that forgiveness has become the subject of several studies in these last twenty years. What the studies have revealed is that children who have been taught to forgive will have better lives. Better as shown by their stable relationships, by their high level of contentment, and their high degree of achievements. Another study revealed that forgiveness allows marriages to work and unforgiveness causes all kinds of physical illnesses. I was taken by a saying that one of my co-workers shared with me. She had been listening to a radio program and the preacher said, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Unforgiveness causes high blood pressure, heart problems, ulcers, colon cancers. Isn't it ironic that holding a grudge can cause all kinds of gut problems? So often a spiritual conflict is manifested in physical symptoms.

Each time we witness an act of forgiveness, we marvel at its power to heal, to break a seemingly unending cycle of pain. Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to-94% surveyed in a nationwide Gallup poll said it was important to forgive-but it is not something we frequently offer. (In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.) Perhaps we don't offer forgiveness for several reasons. We may mistakenly think of forgiving as a sign of weakness. Or perhaps we know intuitively that forgiving takes more strength than we believe we have - in other words "only a saint can forgive" and I'm not a saint. There is one other reason I think we don't forgive often enough. It has to do with how often we have witnessed the misuse of forgiveness to condone being stupid.

I have been troubled by the church's advice to people who are being abused to forgive and just continue to be abused. I certainly did not want to continue such horrible traditions because we all know that it can't be healthy for either the abused person or the abuser to have this kind of behavior condoned. I have worried this for weeks when I knew what our lectionary was for this Sunday. The question is: How can we forgive and get out of situations in which our very lives are endangered? How can we say to a wife or a husband that they have to continue such an unhealthy life style under the guise of forgiveness (It always has seemed to me that abusers use this Christian command as a way to keep their punching bag handy.) I knew Christ would not have wanted this and somehow we have used his teaching on forgiveness in an inappropriate way. There had to be more.

There is: Remember Christ's teaching to the folks who were commissioned to go out into the towns and share the Good News that Christ was the Messiah. If the people in the towns did not believe them they were not to stay around to be abused but they were told to "shake the town's dust off their feet as they left" In the Message translation it states that the missionary was to just quietly leave. Not making a scene but they just didn't have to stick around at all. I believe that is the second part of the wisdom of forgiveness. Forgive but move on. The abused person can forgive and still get out of the unhealthy situation. The abuser person can forgive him/herself and be asked to drastically change. Forgiveness does not require that nothing change - it only allows the freedom for growth to occur. Forgiving does not mean we have to become brain dead. It does mean we can't drag our grudge around with us.

I prepared this meditation for Sept. 11 and found it wonderfully ironic that the lectionary passage was about forgiveness. After the twin towers we need to forgive. After the horrible loss of lives we, as a nation, need to forgive or we will become bitter and the bitterness will cause us to be ill. We often don't think of spiritual lessons on a national or cultural level but for thousands of years all scriptural lessons were for the nation of Israel or Judah. When we read the Old Testament we are reading at least for the larger part a national history with cultural cures. It is our western thinking that brings it to the individual level. The eastern way of thinking if not our way of thinking. That is why the prophetic voice was to the kings and the warnings are to the nations. The New Testament is still part of the eastern way of thinking. They had no separation between church and state. The church leaders were also the national leaders.

That changes how we read passages in the Gospels. I warn you it will kind of strip our gears to hear these as a nation and not only as an individual.

I am going to close this morning with a piece on forgiveness written by Abraham Lincoln. Keep in mind the context he had to have penned these words - our country had been torn by civil conflict from which we are still trying to recover. Our nation had been and was at that time trying to define the worth of all individuals who were not white and male. I can't do better so I am going to share what he had to say.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to bestow its precious presence upon some worthy person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly unworthy of my valuable forgiveness, and since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself. Now, the forgiveness that I hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit. No more. At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world's population, I am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that forgiveness has value only when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the demons of the past about which I can do nothing, and I create in myself a new heart, a new beginning. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. Many are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or uncaring person. I have wasted valuable hours imagining revenge or confusion. Now I see the truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sided, for my offender seldom gives thought to his offense. I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it. By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I give up my bitterness. I am content in my soul and effective again with my fellow man.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. Knowing that slavery in any form is wrong, I also know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my counsel.

I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism will alter my course. Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision, and I forge ahead. I now know that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself. For many years, my greatest enemy has been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed again and again in my mind. Every broken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust I feel for the lack of achievement in my life.

My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I disappoint myself, I respond with inaction and become more disappointed. I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present.